I am not sure who originally wrote this article or where it first appeared - I suspect it was not Mr Lucas but one of those Landrover fanatics they have in the UK. My apologies for using it without permission but it is too good to overlook - Webmaster
A TREATISE ON THE IMPORTANCE OF SMOKE IN ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS
By Joseph Lucas (Inventor of the short circuit!)
All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of charged ions by the retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as smoke. Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. Don't be fooled by scientists and engineers talking about excited electrons and suchlike. Smoke is the key to all things electrical.
We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. If one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator it will be observed that the component no longer functions.
The logic is elementary and inescapable. The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring harness springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards. Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for a long time because they released large amounts of smoke from the electrical system. It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are more prone to electrical leakage than their German or Japanese counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil. British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and brake systems leak fluid. British tyres leak air, and British intelligence leaks defence secrets.
Therefore it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. And again, the logic is clear and inescapable. Sometimes you may miss the component releasing the smoke that makes your electrical system function incorrectly, but if you sniff around you can find the faulty component by the telltale smoke smell. Sometimes this is better than the standard tests with a voltmeter.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a clear and logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components and why they fail.
Mr Lucas (aka The Prince of Darkness)
Did you know that,
The Lucas motto is : "Get home before dark. "
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas invented
▪ the first intermittent wiper. ▪ the self-dimming headlamp. ▪ the three position switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. ▪ the Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas electrics.
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
The reason the British drink warm beer is that Lucas makes their refrigerators.
The recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment is to check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your truck chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."