Here are a collection of quotes which I have unashamedly pinched, butchered, mutilated or just made up. If you have any "thoughts" or "instructions" that you would like to add, please send them to me at The Webmaster
Never ask an offroader for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
Experience is what you got when you didn't get what you wanted.
Most 4wd problems can be fixed by adjusting the nut between the steering wheel and the driving seat.
Everything on your truck should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler!
Real men don't read instructions...they are born with a silver spanner in their mouth so they know how to fix everything.
Another of the great mysteries of life. Where did that spanner go? It was in my hand only a minute ago!
Behold the warranty ... the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away
A bore is someone who persists in holding to his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
It takes a woman 9 months to have a baby but you can't produce a baby in one month even if you have 9 women.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
Education is what remains after we haves forgotten what we learned in school.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice, there is.
Patience is something you admire in the guy behind you and curse in the one ahead.
It takes 9,842 bolts to assemble a truck, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
You never really learn to swear until you take up offroading.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
When in doubt, throttle out!
When we commenced building this truck we started out with nothing and we still have most of it left.
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed.
To finish first, first you must finish.
Strong, light, or cheap - you can only pick two.
If it ain't broke you haven't tried hard enough.
Little miscalculations often spoil great inventions.
If it jams, then force it. If it breaks it probably needed fixing anyway.
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.
Never stand behind the Devil in a Post Office, for the Devil takes many Forms.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the most inaccessible corner.
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
When you try to prove to someone that a thing won't work, it will.
The other line is always quicker, even if you change lines (applies equally to supermarkets and offroading)
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Computers save us time so we can do the things we wouldn't need to do if we didn't use computers.
It isn't what you don't know that makes you look a fool: it's what you do know that isn't so.
I spent most of my money on guns, booze, women and off-roading - the rest I wasted.
Do not argue with a fool. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Remember, when seconds count . . . . the police are only minutes away
And some famous last words or instructions
You go first, it's barely over yer hubs.
Back up and give her plenty.
Why not? It's what Mike does!
Why not? It's what Craig does!
It doesn't look that deep.
Don't worry about that noise, it's nothing serious, just turn the stereo up.
You locked the hubs, didn't you?
OH, SHIT!
Just air down, you'll be fine.
She'll hold. No sweat.
How much rope did you say you had on the drum?
Nah! I never use a snatch block.
Just hook it over the towball - she'll be right!
No worry, I can see wheel tracks exiting on the far bank.
Don't worry, it's just surface rust.
Don't sit on that ..... it's the winch remote!
What's this switch for, Dad?
I crossed here last month, no worry!
Water doesn't affect my brakes.
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More seriously
Only the dead have seen the end of war (wrongly attributed to Plato)